Can't Fight This Feeling
by hollietoffeepops
Summary: Dean has a little downtime for once and spends it on the open road. There's all sorts of feelings involved, and then Castiel shows up. My first attempt at a Destiel fic. I suck at summaries, so just give it a go for me :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been ages since I updated my other story (Universal Changes, in case you don't know), but to be honest I've had so much going on lately, and I have the BIGGEST case of writers block ever, so bad that when I even think about that story I want to tear my hair out. So this little story sort of popped into my head, and I thought it would be a nice little distraction for myself. **

**I did plan on making this a one shot, but if you guys like it and want me to continue with it, let me know. If I get a good response, I may write a second chapter, as I do have a few ideas as to where it could go from here.**

**Story is un-beta'd so all mistakes, whether spelling or gramatical, are on me.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Enjoy :)**

Wind blowing, music pumping, no expectations and nothing in front of him but the open road. Just the way Dean likes it. His brother is off on a simple salt and burn with Bobby, Cas is...somewhere, probably in Heaven with the other winged asshats. It's been a while since Dean's had more than two hours to himself. More than a long time. Years. He can't even remember the last time he just drove for the hell of it. A small smile tugs at his lips as the soothing rumble of his baby's engine vibrates through his body. This is the most relaxed he's been since before Sammy ran away to Stanford.

The tape in the tape deck whirs to a stop, Dean quickly pops it out and grabs another one at random, slipping it into the player. The first notes of music hit his ears, making his smile widen until it's a full cheshire cat grin. It's a mix tape that Sam made him one year for his birthday, each song on it as sappy and love struck as the last. He remembers teasing Sam mercilessly for it the first time he listened to it, but the tape quickly became his guilty pleasure.

He hums along, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat. His baby glides over the road, which is quickly melding from worn tar to clean fresh tarmac as he nears a town. He drops his speed slightly and before he knows it he's cruising through the main street of a little podunk town. It's relatively empty, being past ten o'clock on a school night, but still populated enough for Dean to carry on. He'd stop for a stretch and a burger in the next town. Right now he's enjoying his own company too much to interact with a bunch of strangers.

As he once again hits open road, a new song begins to play. He turns the volume up as high as it will go without blowing babys speakers; this song has always been his favourite.

"I can't fight this feeling any longer," he begins to sing along in his smokey baritone. As he sings his thoughts return to Castiel, remembering the good times he's had with the angel, well, after he stopped being a good little soldier anyway.

"What started out as friendship has grown stonger," Dean wonders where Cas is, what he's doing. He hasn't seen the guy in weeks and is surprised to find he misses the annoying featherbrain.

"Cause I feel so secure when we're together," Castiels face flashes in his mind, his blue eyes wide, a terrified expression on his face. Taking Cas to that brothel probably wasn't one of his better ideas, but hey, he got a laugh out of it. Worth it.

"And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight," Deans voice grows louder as he prepares to belt out the chorus, thoughts still on his wandering angel.

"You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winters night. And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might!" Dean thumps his fist on the steering wheel, cheesy grin still spread accross his face as he really gets into the music.

"And I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for. It's time to bring this ship into the shore, and throw away the oars forever..."

His feelings for the angel have become increasingly confusing over the last few months. He first noticed it after Castiel confessed to him on that park bench about his doubts, when he told Dean that he was not the hammer that he was supposed to be. Their relationship began to change as Deans attitude towards the angel changed. At first it was small things, like praying to Cas just for a chat, or noticing miniscule changes in the angels behaviour. Lately he found himself caught in more staring matches than usual with his angel, they'd turned almost...soul searching. And rather than being pissed with Castiels personal space issues he's begun to actually drift closer to him when they're in the same space. It's like Cas is the Earth and Dean is caught in his gravitational pull.

"My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you," as he continues to sing, Dean thinks back on the first time he saw Castiel, Angel of the Lord. He remembers fear pumping through his veins, even as his mind remained skeptical. And then there was the unknown "other" thing that had made his blood boil and his palms sweat. He's always passed it off as nerves and fury at Castiels father for being such a dead beat. These days, he's not so sure.

"And it always seems that I'm following you, boy, cause you take me to places that alone I'd never find." Dean frowns slightly when his brain automatically substitutes 'girl' for 'boy' in the song. He'd always been a ladies man. From the age of thirteen he's either been getting girls or thinking about them. He's been in a bit of a dry patch lately. He hasn't gotten any since... Well, Anna probably. And boy, was that a mistake or what. He's always appreciated the female form. But lately when he's around Cas, he finds himself wanting to touch and hold. He got a whiff of Castiel last week, he smelt like fresh rain and an almost electric scent that, for some reason, Dean imagines is what lightning would smell like.

"Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore, I've forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door. Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore." The song finishes, leaving Dean more confused than ever.

He turns the volume down as the next song begins, his mind a tangled web of thoughts, wants, needs. Since Castiel became a more permanent fixture in his life he's found himself being less interested in the women in the street. Where he used to appreciate a nice rack or a perky behind, now he just finds himself wondering what Castiels hair feels like, if he has hairs on his chest, what his skin tastes like. He keeps telling himself that it's still Jimmy Novak, even if Cas is riding him, but that doesn't seem to matter to him as much as it used to.

He's even begun dreaming about Cas. Not even fun dreams; the closest he's gotten to a sex dream about Cas is the two of them cuddling on a motel bed, Cas trying to explain to Dean what Heaven is really like with Dr. Sexy MD playing in the background. Dean Winchester does NOT cuddle. And yet he woke up from that dream feeling oddly giddy and light.

He misses Castiel. When he's gone it's like there's a piece of himself missing. And when the angel is there, the hand print he left on Deans shoulder tingles pleasantly. He's begun to admit to himself that he needs the angel, that he has more than platonic feelings for him. It hasn't been easy, in fact it's been confusing as all hell. But, he knows that Cas will never share his feelings. Because he's a freaking angel, and angels and humans can't be together. To the God squad, him and Castiel shacking up would probably be more taboo than if he and Sam were to-

"Ugh, no, no, no. Don't even go there!" Dean verbally derails that particular train of thought before he scars himself for life.

"Don't go where, Dean?" the wonderfully familiar deep voice inquires from the seat beside him.

"Son of a-" Dean quickly brings his baby back onto the road, Castiels sudden appearance causing him to almost run into the ditch.

"What the hell, Cas!?" Dean glances to the side, frowning at the angel. Castiel tilts his head to the side, blue eyes wide and confused.

"Hello Dean," the gravel in Castiels voice sends shivers down Deans spine. He sighs.

"Yeah, hey Cas. Where've you been? Haven't heard from you in a few weeks now." Dean says gruffly, trying not to let the relief at finally seeing the angel show in his face.

"I have been in Heaven, Dean. You haven't prayed for me since we last spoke, so I assumed you had no use for me." Dean is hit with a pang of guilt; he hasn't contacted Cas because he's been hoping a little distance would do him some good. Having Cas back by his side proves that theory to be incorrect.

"Ah, come on Cas. You know you don't have to wait for an invitation to swing by." He pauses, unsure of whether of not to continue on his current train of thought. Before he can stop himself, the words come tumbling out of his mouth.

"Besides, it's not the same without you around, Cas. I've missed you," Deans heart thunders in his chest, he can't believe he said that outloud. He turns his gaze to his angel, and is surprised to see a small smile gracing Castiels lips. The angel so very rarely smiles that it really is something to treasure.

"I've missed you too, Dean. Heaven is so dreadfully mundane when compared to my time with you." Deans eyebrows disappear into his hair line, surprise evident on his face.

_Cas misses me? And... Did he just call Heaven __boring__? _Dean shakes his head, trying to squash the grain of hope that has begun to build in his mind, certain that the angel means it in a completely platonic, friendly way.

"Yeah... Uh, anyway," Dean coughs slightly, suddenly feeling like an awkward 12 year old. "So, what's the news?" He waits expectantly, assuming that Cas hasn't just popped in for a social visit.

"News?" Cas sounds confused, but when Dean glances over to him his careful, blank mask is firmly back in place. Deans heart drops slightly. No more smiles from him, then.

"Yeah, haven't you come down to give me some info?"

"No, Dean. I'm afraid I don't have any 'info' for you. I am sorry to disappoint. Would you like me to leave, since I cannot be of service?" Dean can hear the sarcasm dripping from Castiels words, and is quietly proud of his angel for finally mastering the act. At the same time he's surprised at Castiels reaction. When he looks over, his angels face is stormy.

"Whoa, Cas. That's not what I meant. Dial back on the PMS would ya?" An icy glare is sent his way, and Castiel disappears with a flutter of wings.

"Dammit," Dean sighs, thumping his fist on the steering wheel in frustration. That had escalated quickly, he wonders why Castiel is so touchy today. He waits for a few seconds before admitting to himself that Cas isn't going to come back without some form of prompting.

"Dammit, Cas," with another sigh, Dean begins to pray.

"Castiel, I'm sorry. Get your feathery ass back here, so I can apologise for whatever I said in person?" He glances around, disappointed to see the car still empty. Frustration mounting, Dean pulls over to the side of the road and closes his eyes.

"Come on, Cas. I know you can hear me. Come back, talk to me. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, ok? Just, please come back." Dean peeks, grunting in frustration at the once again empty car.

"Castiel, get your ass down here and talk to me. I'm serious, if you don't come back here right now I will summon you properly. I have all of the stuff in the trunk, Cas, you know I do. C'mon, Cas." Another peek, and his baby is still empty. Panic grips his chest, has he finally pushed Cas too far and driven him away for good?

"Alright, Castiel. That's it. I'm dragging your ass down here, right now." Dean throws the door open, and as he's about to step out it slams shut again, narrowly missing his foot. Dean throws himself back against the passenger side door with a yell. Well, it would be the door if there didn't happen to be a pissed off angel in the passenger seat.

"What is it, Dean?" With another yell, Dean swings around and his vision is filled with Castiel. Dean gulps, so close to the angel that his intoxicating spring-rain-and-lightning scent wafts up his nose.

Cas turns, and suddenly their faces are mere inches apart. Castiels incredible blue eyes connect with Deans, and he feels as if he's drowning in them. His mouth goes dry, his brain seems to short circuit and he has a sudden urge to find out if his angels lips are as soft as they look...

Before he can stop himself, Dean is closing the small gap between them. The first touch of Castiels lips against his sends fireworks exploding through his nervous system. His skin is on fire, he can hear his blood racing through his veins, his heart pounds in his fingertips, his whole body is in sensory overload. He's never felt anything like it in his life. Not even the best sex he's ever had felt this damn amazing. Dean moans, throaty and deep, pressing more insistantly against his angel, molding his lips to fit Castiels unmoving ones. The kiss lasts only seconds, before Dean is face planting the soft leather of his babys bench seat.

Mind clear, he sits up. He already knows that Castiel is gone, but he has to look anyway. Once again, he is alone in the car. Disappointment fills his heart, and he lets out a sigh.

"Dammit," he knows he really has pushed the angel away this time. Probably for good. What was he thinking, kissing him? He knew it wouldn't end well, but he did it anyway. And now Cas is gone. Dean allows himself a moment of self pity before giving himself a shake. He's literally been to Hell and back; a little rejection won't kill him.

_You're Dean friggin' Winchester, _he tells himself, _you've taken on demons and ghosts, ghouls and witches, you stood up against the friggin' __**devil**__ and come out the other side. If you can survive all of that, you can survive this. Get it together, dude._

So, despite the hurt that claws at his chest, that's what he does. He pulls himself together.

Swiping a hand over his face, Dean slides back into the drivers seat. He swiftly removes the half played tape from the player, popping in a worn AC/DC tape in its place. Turning the volume right up, Dean throws his baby back into gear. With a squeal of tyres he's back on the road, leaving nothing behind but the smell of burning rubber and a single, pitch black feather.

**A/N: So what did you think? Should I continue with it or leave it as a tidy little one shot? Hit me up with some reviews, let me know what you think :)**

**In case you were wondering, the song is "Can't Fight This Feeling" By REO Speedwagon :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey peeps, so I decided to continue on with this little story. Sorry if the timeline doesn't make much sense, I'm semi basing it around the middle of Season 5, but it's more or less AU. Not sure if I'm going to incorporate actual events from the series into it or not, or if I'm just gonna wing it. I guess we will all find out together lol. I know I'm rubbish at updating, but I work full time and really don't get a lot of time to myself to actually write. But I'm trying! And I will be coninuing on with Universal Changes, but I need to put it aside for a little while, otherwise I'll start hating it and it'll never get finished lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one meanwhile. As always, please review. I like to know whether or not my audience likes where I'm going with the stories. Constructive ctiticism is always welcome :)**

Can't Fight The Feeling Chapter 2

Adrenaline pumping, heart pounding, Dean heaves in a breath as he wipes the still warm vamp blood from his machete. Glancing down at the headless body in disgust he crouches down to collect the syringe of dead mans blood that had been knocked out of his hand in the brawl. Slipping it into his jacket pocket he turns to make his way through the musty halls of the abandoned house that the vamps had been squatting in.

"Friggin' vampires," he mutters to himself as he steps over a detached head. There were five vampires in the nest that had been terrorising a little town near Bobby's for the last few months. These vamps were smart, they were only taking victims that wouldn't be missed. Runaways, the homeless, people who lived on the fringes of society. They would hang them from their wrists in the basement of the house and feed slowly, keeping them for a few days before burying the bodies once the victims hearts gave out. That's the only reason they weren't taken out weeks ago, and Sam only caught wind of it because a womans German Shepherd happened to dig in the right place. By the time he'd exposed the torso of one of the victims the police were already putting up the crime scene tape.

Dean's not sure if the vamps were following some kind of orders, or if monsters are just getting smarter. It equals trouble whichever way you slice it.

As he nears the front door, Sam emerges from the living room looking a little worse for wear. He shakes his head at Deans concerned face and nods towards the front door. In other words, I'm fine, let's just get out of here.

"You good?" Dean asks as they near the Impala, taking note of Sams possible injuries. Judging by the way he's holding his side, he suspects bruised or broken ribs.

"Yeah, damn vamp tackled me into the wall, think she did a little damage." Propping himself on the hood of the car, Sam lifts his shirt and pokes gingerly at the already forming bruises that cover most of the left side of his torso. Dean moves closer, prodding gently and counting one, no, two possible cracked ribs. Sam winces, pushing Dean away lightly as he drops his shirt back down.

"Let's head back to the motel, I'll bandage you up there." Dean opens the passenger door and helps Sam slide in before moving around to the drivers side. He glances around as he opens the door, just to make sure no one has witnessed their exit from the house. Nodding to himself, he quickly drops into the drivers seat.

The purr of his baby as she roars to life slightly eases the knot thats been forming between his shoulder blades since the day that he and Cas-

He shakes his head, derailing that train of thought. He hasn't seen Cas since that day two months ago. Though the angel has popped in a couple times with information about their various hunts, it's always been when Dean's not there.

_Man, I seriously screwed up,_ Dean thinks to himself as he navigates his way back into town, the vamp nest having been secluded right on the outskirts. He glances over at his brother, who is slumped in the passenger seat with his eyes closed, forehead creased in pain. Dean worries that there may be more damage than he can see. Sam has the highest pain threshold Dean's ever seen, a couple of cracked ribs shouldn't be causing him this much pain. So, for the first time since Cas started giving him the silent treatment, Dean sends a prayer up to his friend.

_Castiel, I know you're still pissed at me. But Sammy's hurt and I could really use a little of your angel mojo right now. Please, Cas. For Sam._

He's not surprised when there's no response. No flutter of wings. No, "Hello, Dean." Castiels silence is understandable, but it's also starting to really piss him off. Yeah, what he did was a dumbass move, but surely after over a year of saving each others asses, Cas can put his issues with Dean aside for long enough to heal Sam. It's not Sams fault that Dean's such an idiot.

Breathing out a sigh of frustration, Dean pulls into the motel parking lot. Easing his baby to a stop, he throws her into park and turns off the engine.

"Sam, we're here, come on let's get you inside." Glancing over at his brother when he doesn't respond sends a spark of panic through Dean. Sam's head is lolling back against the back of the seat and his chest is barely rising.

"Sammy!" Sliding himself over to the other side of the car, he feels for a pulse at Sams neck, the faint flutter at his fingertips in no way calms the panic settling in his stomach. "Sam, you gotta wake up. Sam, come on. Sammy?" He lightly slaps his brothers face, trying to get some sort of response from him but once again, nothing.

"Damn it, CAS! I need you, please Castiel! Sam's hurt bad, please Cas!" The desperation in his voice seems to fo the trick. With a flutter of wings the angel appears in the back seat, his blank mask firmly in place.

"Dean. What happened?" Relief sweeps through his system at the sound of his friends voice.

"Vamp tackled him, I didn't think she'd done that much damage but now he's not waking up. Fix him. Please," it all comes out in a big rush, Sam's breath is getting shallower by the second. Castiel reaches forward and places two fingers on Sam's forehead. Sam's chest begins to rise and fall as normal, and the ball of tension between Deans shoulder blades relaxes completely. This time when Dean checks for a pulse he can feel it, steady and strong.

He lets out a sigh of relief, turning to Castiel with a grin.

"Thanks, man. That was far too close. Can you help me get him inside?" Dean can't help but notice that Castiel is avoiding his gaze, instead looking somewhere over his right shoulder.

"Of course." He once again places his fingers on Sam's forehead, and with another flutter of wings they're both gone. Dean curses under his breah and rushes to meet them inside, hoping that the angel won't fly off before he gets there.

He enters the motel room as Castiel is laying Sam on the bed furthest from the door. He straightens up before turning to face Dean, once again avoiding his gaze.

"If that is all, I have other matters to attend to." Castiel's voice washes over Dean, which has nothing to do with how weak his knees are suddenly feeling. No, it's just the adrenaline leaving his system after his battle with the vampires and Sam's close call. That's all.

"Wait, Cas. I haven't seen you in a couple months, can't you just... Stay for a bit?" Dean internally cringes at how pathetic he sounds, but he and the angel need to talk.

_And you've missed him_ a little voice inside his head that sounds suspisciously like his little brother adds. He pushes that down. He has to focus on fixing his friendship with Cas, and thinking about his feelings for the angel will only make things worse.

Castiel's face remains impassive as he finally raises his eyes to meet Deans.

"Are you sure that would be wise, Dean?" Dean flinches at that verbal barb. So that's how this is going to be. He was hoping that he can Cas could put it behind them and move on, but it looks like an actual apology is going to be neccessary.

"Jesus, Cas. I'm sorry, ok? I made the mistake of letting my control slip for two seconds, I let my guard down and you're pissed, I get that. But it won't happen again, ok? You're friggin' _virtue_ is safe, ok?" By the end of his little seech Deans face feels hot, with embarrassment, anger or something else, and his eyes are stinging annoyingly. He turns away from the angel, not wanting him to see how much this is actually affecting him. He swipes angrily at the tears that manage to escape, leaving hot tracks down his face.

_Come on, get it together Winchester. You're 30 years old and you're acting like a teenage girl who just got dumped. Pull yourself together, get a grip._

"Dean," Castiel's voice comes from directly behind him causing him to jump. Castiel lays his hand on his shoulder and he hates himself for the jolt of longing that the angels simple touch sends through him. Dean pulls himself roughly from his friends grip but can't bring himself to move away completely. He takes a deep breath to regain his control before turning to Castiel and giving him a lopsided grin.

"Thanks for laying your mojo on Sam. Thought I was gonna lose the kid for a minute there, so I appreciate it." Castiels eyes burn into his, seeing straight through the macho act, just like he always has. Dean breaks the eye contact and turns to the kitchenette, bending to grab the bottle of whiskey that he stashed under the sink earlier. He unscrews the cap and takes a healthy swig, relishing the fire of it burning its way down his throat.

Dean tries to ignore the ache that begins in his chest at the telltale rustle of feathers from behind him. He soothes it with whiskey, just like he always does.

**A/N: I'm not entirely happy with the ending but I'm trying to string it out a little bit. But review, let me know if you like it/don't like it. Sorry I know I'm slack with updating, but between work and social life I don't get a lot of time to actually write. Plus I've had a bit of writers block, and I'm a bit of a perfectionist so if it's not exactly how I pictured it, it doesn't go up lol. Stay tuned for more :)**


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